Posts Tagged ‘kukla’

09.07.14

Posted on: September 7th, 2014 by jmbroekman 2 Comments

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Another Birthday, Another Purple Vase

Kukla would be celebrating her 61st birthday today. I don’t know what else to say about that except that time is becoming something that I am having more and more difficulty comprehending. Is it merely that the force that we know as “time” is forever shifting? Or maybe just that it is not the force of time that shifts, but rather, that time stands still as we move along a trajectory that is less straight line, than circuitous route.

The hole that she left is as wide and deep as ever, but my ability to peer around or over it is getting much better. For that I am extremely grateful.

Time Present and time past
Are both perhaps present in time future,
And time future contained in time past.

– T.S. Eliot, Burnt Norton

04.16.14

Posted on: April 16th, 2014 by jmbroekman 6 Comments
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Daffodils (again) for my sister.

Nine years and still counting, grieving and wondering.

Nine years and still missing you as much as ever.

It snowed last night, but the sun is shining today. The purple crocuses bloom right on schedule – they always pop their bright little heads out of the ground just in time for me to light a candle for Kukla. This year there are more of them than ever before. They are begging me to smile despite what this day represents and brings into the forefront of my mind. I’ll do my best.

Photo below, about 1 week after Kukla’s 3rd birthday. What a look!

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04.16.13

Posted on: April 16th, 2013 by jmbroekman 6 Comments
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Purple crocuses for my sister

Today I am lighting a candle both for my sister and for all of those whose lives have been forever impacted by the events in Boston yesterday. I’m not sure at this point, which is making me more sad. But, from a photo I saw posted on FaceBook, which was evidently projected on to the outside of BAM in NY:

Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that.

I’m keeping that in mind and heart, today and always.

09.07.12

Posted on: September 7th, 2012 by jmbroekman 7 Comments
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I usually spend my sister’s birthday in the studio making something for her. But since today I am hosting a nasty migraine, that seems unlikely. And anyway, it recently occurred to me that just about everything I make is for Kukla. So today I will light a candle for her, and put up these recent pieces in her honor. If there is a heaven, I hope she has found her way there and is somehow celebrating what would’ve been her 59th birthday in some kind of terrific style. I don’t imagine I will ever stop making art for her, nor missing her like crazy.

04.16.12

Posted on: April 16th, 2012 by jmbroekman 3 Comments
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Giant purple stone vase …

for my sister who died seven years ago today. Loss continues to have a loud voice inside my head, and yet there are still few words to describe the inexplicable. I think of her every time I order anchovy pizza; and she comes to mind whenever I see a purple flower blooming. How did empty become so substantially solid?

I spent most of last week trying to make a drawing for Kukla. Whether or not she would’ve liked any of what I did is still a big question mark in my mind. Che ne so (what do I know)? Maybe it’s not so much what death takes away that causes so much difficulty, but what it leaves behind: all those unanswered questions.

Regardless of what she might’ve thought about the drawings, the wisteria, no doubt, would’ve made her smile.

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